Issues


“Isn’t man an amazing animal? He kills wildlife – birds, kangaroos, deer, all kinds of cats, coyotes, beavers, groundhogs, mice, foxes and dingoes – by the million in order to protect his domestic animals and their feed. Then he kills domestic animals by the billion and eats them. This in turn kills man by the millions, because eating all those animals leads to degenerative – and fatal – health conditions like heart disease, kidney disease, and cancer. So then man tortures and kills millions more animals to look for cures for these diseases. Elsewhere, millions of other human beings are being killed by hunger and malnutrition because food they could eat is being used to fatten domestic animals. Meanwhile, some people are dying of sad laughter at the absurdity of man, who kills so easily and so violently, and once a year, sends out cards praying for Peace on Earth.”

-David Coats

I wrote this blog several months ago, and I never posted it.  Why?  I don’t really know.  Maybe I needed time to figure things out.  But I thought it was a beautiful moment for me, and I’ve come so far since then.  I hope you enjoy and that it helps someone!

Last week, I went for a run to my happy place.  I was seeking solitude and a moment alone with God.  I sat down in the grass, watched the sun set, and started talking and crying simultaneously.  The everyday stress had been overwhelming, and I began to have flashbacks of my relationship with Taco Runner.  We broke up 4 months ago, and I’ve accepted and dealt with the emotions of the breakup.  But during my moments of stress and chaos, I think of him.  Why?

During our relationship, Taco was my escape.  Whenever something would go wrong with my family, friends, or in life – he would always be there.  I never had to deal with my personal issues myself, because he was always there to back me up.  It’s no wonder why since we broke up I’ve had several self-empowering moments of awareness.  I’m actually having to deal with my issues instead of running away to my escape – my boyfriend.

Letting go of my relationship & the pain it has caused me means also letting go of any escape from my problems.  Experiencing what love is was an amazing experience, but this breakup has been one of the best things that could ever happen for the growth of my spirit.  I am reluctantly thankful.

xoxo

Since starting my new job a few months ago, I have been so swamped and busy.  Is this what being a working woman is all about?  And to top it all off, I just moved this weekend.  Thankfully, I finally have internet access set up and the clouds over my brain are finally starting to clear away.

There have been a few things going on…

I finally broke down and bought a gym membership!  Now I have no excuse to not go to the gym when I have access to it 24 hours a day, 7 days a week – including holidays.

I love the managers at the gym!

I stole a stray cat from my former animal-abusing-neighbors who claimed it was their cat.  She now has her own bed, where she chills out all day and eats more food than she ever did with the neighbors.

We named her Kitty Wolf. Also pictured is my dog, Biscuit!

(Keep Reading & See More Photos)

Keeping up with all of my life’s responsibilities has never been my strong suit.  I can multi task, but if I have to multitask 17 really really important things – something has to give.  And usually I end up going around the world like a chicken with my head cut off.

BAWK, BAWK.

This quote really helped me know it’s okay to say “no”, and to not answer every phone call, and to turn my cell phone off, and to unplug from the world – even if it’s just for an hour.

I swear, in my previous life I was a 15th century Pilgrim girl because I wish life was a little more simple. 

xoxo

Working full time, travelling, and finding time for my workouts is the hardest thing I’ve done in a long time.  All of the things I have to fit in between those things has SHOCKED my body.  On my Monday evening run, I felt so lethargic and completely heavy with stress.  How in the world can I make this work, even if travelling isn’t everyday?

But then I realized how I could get things done on my work & lunch breaks!!!  There is a water station at the end of the tunnel :)

Cheers to us squeezing 30 minutes of exercise into every day!  Please let me know how you do it!!???

xoxo

2 runs. 3 showers. Earth Day or bust!

I began the day with a beautiful morning run.  I was in such a hurry to go to church right afterwards, I didn’t even have time to come down from the endorphin high.  Yes, I was high at church.  SIN!

Something happened later in the day that really pissed me off.  I’m a very patient and calm person, and I don’t yell.  When something pisses me off, I’ve lost all control. Basically.

My pissed off running face:

A few days ago, I discovered this place that no one else knows, where I run to when I want to think.  It’s empty.  No buildings, no roads.  Just grass, trees, dirt, and rocks. It’s only 3 miles (round trip) from where I live.  I knew I had to run there to get my peace and zen back.   When I got there, I realized I forgot to pee before I left home.  Well, there was no one in sight.  So I pulled my pants down and used this big rock as my toilet.  I peed on the Earth on Earth Day!  DOUBLE SIN!

Keeping it grassy classy.

The sun was beginning to set, and so I sat there and watched it.  

Still pissed off and hating everything.

I began talking to God, and writing down a list of grievances in my iPhone:

I laid in the dirt as the breeze passed over me.  The most gorgeous flower bush was growing beside me, in an empty place that didn’t have a whole lot of life to it.

I remember how empty I was during the lowest points in my life.  But when I dug deep, I always found there was so much color, growth, and life to me – much like that flower bush.  When I look at my life now as a whole, it may not be perfect.  But there is life that is still there.

I’ve always been able to pick myself, dust my ass off, and keep running.  

Metaphorically and literally, speaking.

As I was about to get up and run home, I asked God to speak to me.  I was listening, and I felt Him say, “Be still and know that I am God.”   

I got my zen back.  Thank you, sweet baby Jesus.

I was so mad that I didn’t even start my Garmin when I left home.  Ha ha!  I only recorded my distance on the return home.  So double this distance, add the run from this morning, and I ran a total of 6 .03 miles today!  Now that’s how I celebrate Earth Day.

 Did you do anything special for Earth Day?  How do you handle being “pissed” at someone or something?  

xoxo

My allergies are brutal.  

I’ve never had them until college, because my university was in a city that is an allergen gold mine!  My nose is constantly dripping, there is sinus pressure, and my throat was sore.  Blah.  I had to get some sort of exercise, so I took my dog on an hour long walk today.

Hello, awkward light dissecting my midsection.

It was supposed to be 40 minutes.

But you know dogs!  They like to pee on light poles and talk to donkeys.

It was a beautiful walk, and I touched on a lot of personal issues.

I thought about all of the relationships (friendships, boyfriends) I have had in my life.  I have strengths, but I also have weaknesses.  We all do!  It’s O.K.  God creates us this way, so that we can be complete only in Him.  I believe in soul mates, and I believe in compatibility.  When your personality is compatible with another person’s, you are probably great friends and/or spouses.

There are a lot of sides of me, and there are certain people who bring out the positive and curious side of me. There are others who bring out my not-so-charming qualities like competitiveness and reserve.  And I realized I have never had a boyfriend who brought out more of my positive than negative character traits.  I would love to find that man someday who is just as positive and curious about the world, running, health, etc. like I am!

And that’s where the walk ended.

xoxo

I went for a long walk with my dog tonight.  We walked 2.5 miles for 45 minutes through the beautiful country side.  The sun was setting, and there was this wonderful breeze around us.

I rarely go for walks, because I’d rather be running.  When I run, a few things go through my head.  My blog.  God. Words of inspiration.  Something someone said that day to piss me off.  But mostly, I focus on how awesome running is and how awesome I feel in the moment.  I rarely think about my life, my future, my past or anything relatively significant.

But on today’s walk, I really thought about A LOT.

Maybe it’s the mostly raw diet I’ve been consuming. (I’ve read that when you detoxify your body with a raw vegan diet, a lot of pathological and psychological toxins come out.) Maybe I’m emotional today. Maybe now that I’m out of college I can really focus on myself.  I don’t know what caused me to go this deep, but today – I went there.

Walking through beautiful spring flowers, I thought about “J” - this great new guy in my life.  Am I really ready to move on yet and give him what he deserves?  And suddenly, I went back to the night Taco Runner and I broke up.  I felt the pain as if it just happened yesterday.  I asked myself if there was anything I ever did to hurt him.  Sure! I mean, there were plenty of times when I would be a totally bad girlfriend.  Taco, like so many people throughout my life, told me several times that I was never satisfied.  I would always reply with, “I get that a lot.”

(Keep Reading!)

Hey y’all.

I feel like uber crap today.  Girl problems.  I really just want to sleep all day, but I’ve experimented with this before.  I know that running always makes my non-running related body aches feel better.  And drinking more water and not eating salt won’t hurt either.  I’m addicted to salt like the ocean!

I’ve also been eating mostly raw vegan foods (fruits and veggies), not purposely.  That’s just what my body has been craving.  And that’s another story for another day.  But basically when you eat a raw foods diet, you feel like crap for weeks (and maybe months) while the body is flushing all of those stored chemicals & toxins out of your body.  It’s sick!

No salt. Water. Run. Focus. Go. Got it! 

xoxo

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